Oh, hey, it’s March and I still have a blog.
So the other day a friend texted me and was like, “Are you single? I have someone I’d like you to meet.” and I went through about a dozen reactions all at once.
At first I was like, “Ugh” because who knows what kind of cave troll this chick might be.
Then I was like, “Well, that’s cool. I guess it is still possible to meet people organically through friends.”
Then I was like, “What is my status, anyway?” I don’t even really know if I’m single. On the one hand, I’m so damn busy with my last two graduate courses and my job and a bunch of other shit that is just kind of boring but trust me it adds up but still you don’t want to hear about it, and keeping my social life on life-support, I really don’t have any time for dating. On the other hand, I’m not in a relationship.
But still, I don’t even know if I’m looking for anything right now. I’m kind of enjoying the first time I’ve had to myself since I was 16. (Yeah, that’s right, I pretty much went through three relationships with virtually no breaks over a period of 13 years. Insanity.) I finally replied that I was “single-ish” and that while I wasn’t actively looking to get into anything right now, I was at least open to the possibility.
Eh, maybe I shouldn’t be so down on the whole thing. At least I have friends who are looking out for me. Oh, and if you’re a friend reading this: please, no cave trolls.
Finally, fuck, is this the boringest blog ever, or what? I feel sorry for you people.
This is not the ORIGINAL Anonymous Co-Worker.
Well, yes and no. Yes it’s the same guy behind the mask, but it’s not the same mask, even though the mask has the same name? Okay, now I’m confused too. But I assure you, yeah, it’s me. Want proof? NECROPHILIA.
Hmm… If true, then that’s kind of sucky.
It’s him, and it is kind of sucky.
Mokie almost proves it, but I still want to see you take a big bite out of some Egg Nog soap, just to be fucking sure…
On a more serious note, sorry to hear there is no Mrs. ACW anymore… or, maybe I should say “HOORAY!!! NO MORE MRS. ACW!!!!eleven!!1″. I don’t know the details, and never new her (or you, for that matter), and maybe she was a complete and total hosebag and parting with her was the best thing since Bush leaving office. I know, it’s personal, and I understand if you tell me to shut my gaping stalker pie-hole with a loaded 12-gauge.
matty makes me laugh.
guess you’ve been through a shit storm (perhaps). I’m very glad you’re writing again. Life takes strange turns sometimes, but they can end up in a great and lovely alley somewhere. just sayin.
Jesus, man. I didn’t think it was you until the necrophilia confirmation. You’re back from the underbelly of God-knows-what and you’re not considering dating cave trolls. You: 1, Everyone Else: 0
Life changes fast when you put down the blog for a minute.
Hey, Buddy. Great to see you again. I live in NYC now!
(Hmm, maybe you knew that.)
No Mrs. ACW? Huh. First I’ll offer my condolences for what has likely been a bit of a trying period in your life (to understate things a bit), and then I’ll move right on to pondering how much more stuff you’ll have to blog about. Cool. (Not that nog and necro-bestiality wasn’t enough.)
Ah-ha. So this explains why you have time for blogging again. You and the girlfriend break up, and you come running back to us wanting to “hang” again? You think after all the time you spent ignoring us so you could bang your girlfriend, we’re going to take you back that easily? Well, we are.
Wife. But yeah, the point is essentially the same.
Oops. that’s right. I remember the wedding pics. Seriously, that totally sucks, man, I’m sorry to hear about it.
Yeah, yeah… condolences on the break-up. Life goes on. Let’s get to the important thing… who has custody of Sherlock & Wookie?
And WTF is wrong with cave trolls? Sometimes we can be fun to hang out with. People like you just don’t give us a chance.