Do not tell your lesbian friend, in an attempt to cheer her up about her ex, that a “Doctor” and one of his colleagues gave you some good information about relationships once. Because then you will have to complete the joke and say:
“Bitches ain’t shit but hos and tricks. If you’re having girl [...]
I just went another bunch of days without writing a single word. Sorry, school is still keeping me pretty busy. But I graduate in 31 days, so there’s that.
Let’s see, what else? I started hanging out with a girl who made a joke about duck vaginas, which was hilarious. And then [...]
So this morning I’m getting ready for work, and as I’m eating my cereal (Cereal because I’m a child, bran flakes because I’m a geezer. I figure it averages out to about 29.) I turned on the TV to see what was happening. Maybe check to make sure there were no explosions in [...]
Zappos Furry Customers
Am I the only one who thought furry furry?
Okay, lemme tell you about Boston. Boston is a fairly mediocre city in that it is neither exceptionally awesome, nor is it exceptionally bad. It is no Austin, Texas. Nor is it Wichita, Kansas. Those places rock, and suck ass, respectively. I would not want to live in Boston, but it was fun enough to [...]
Three things:
1) Yeah, some shit went down. The short version is, it wasn’t my fault. I might go into more detail later. In the meantime, I’m auditioning ACWGs.
2) I’m going to Boston tomorrow. Are any of you in Boston? Comment lickity split. Maybe we can meet up.
3) Who’s [...]
So the other day a friend texted me and was like, “Are you single? I have someone I’d like you to meet.” and I went through about a dozen reactions all at once.
At first I was like, “Ugh” because who knows what kind of cave troll this chick might be.
Then I was like, [...]
I just threw a used tissue at the place where my trash can is supposed to be. There was no trash can there. I’m debating picking up the tissue at all.
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I was heading to lunch when this dude rolls up on me and he’s like, “Hey, can I ask you a question?” Being a friendly guy who is also capable of answering all questions (though not necessarily correctly) I said, “Sure.”
“Do you believe in the Bible?”
And before I could do anything to stop them, the [...]